17 Indisputable Reasons Why I Am A Terrible Human Being

Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates

1. I almost never hold the elevator door when I discover my neighbours come through the front door. Instead I mash the” doors shut” button multiple times and claim like I’m super enthralled with an almost always nonexistent text theme if they do happen to catch up and sneak in.

2. And along the same lines, I have little to no those who are interested in getting to know most of them. I’ve never been a” hey neighbor !” kind of daughter so becoming small talk with someone just because we happens to share a wall and a mail apartment seems so was necessary to me.

3. I adjudicate people based on their footwear. Peculiarly if they wear tennis shoes as casual wear outside of a gym.

4. A few years ago someone’s makeup subscription box gave through my mail…and I hindered it.

5. I don’t care that my bird-dog is sort of sullen and generally abhors other animate thing and growl at the door when she examines people go by. I actually think it’s a beautiful instance of swine and humans taking on each other’s personalities and I’m not mad about it.

6. At least half of the time( including now while I’m writing this) when I’m wearing headphones I’m not dallying anything. I exactly have them on so no one tries to talk to me and if they do, I’m not perceived as being ** AS ** insulting when I do not respond.

7. I don’t ever recycle.

8. And I don’t compost.

9. And I almost always have at least one light one at all times in my suite. Whether it be my salt boulder lamp or otherwise.

10. I leave friend petitions pending on Facebook for months and then merely touched “deny” like … 90 days later.

11. When queried a stupid interrogation I’ve passive aggressively responded with “ha” before actually answering.

12. And I maintain that there are, in fact, very stupid any issues that people should not ask unless they certainly are for whatever intellect altogether incapable of figuring out how to use Google. Therefore, I feel like my “ha” is justifiable.

13. I’ve purposefully adopted” log out of all maneuvers” on some of the streaming services I give my friends have the passwords to because they were fucking up my queue in profileand not working the designated charts I uttered for( Whoever was watching, this is your goddamn demerit .)

14. I have acquaintances that I simply continue to interact with because their lives are so muddled and all over the place and candidly, it is entertaining.

15. I do not speculate all babes are beautiful or all girls are great. Sometimes juveniles have aspects they REALLY need a few years to grow into and act like little, bratty oppressors and so no, I don’t have to think they’re cute just because they’re tiny.

16. I don’t break down my caskets before putting them into the recycling apartment. Ever.

17. I know I’m a bad person, and I don’t try to hide it. “Ha.”

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