Sweet Girl, Maybe Hes Too Late

Phung Hai

Youve been hoping, wishing, waiting for him to announce. Youve been busying yourself with projects and schemes, crowding your calendar with lunch dates with sweethearts and exercising classes and part-time places to fill the empty spaces in-between. Youve been feigning that you dont miss him, that you dont reread through the age-old textbook, that you dont find yourself scrolling through old-time photographs of you two, so full of life and love.

Youve been forcing yourself to think of something, anything else, diving headfirst into that bucket roster, into those to-do notes, into relationships that youve forgotten during your time together.

Youve been working on you, on your goals, on anything and everything that contains no detect of him.

Youve been acting like youre punishment, letting is now going moving on. Until unexpectedly, surprisingly, you did .

One day you woke up and didnt instantly think up him, didnt automatically find yourself walking to conceives of the two of you together, treading hand-and-hand into another day.

One day you flattened over and didnt tone his absence on the other side of the berth. You brushed your whisker and get dressed without wished to know whether hed like the brand-new jeans you bought. You built breakfast that didnt include his usual requirements of sunny-side eggs. You get “re ready for” production. You reacted emails. You moved through your social media. You went in your automobile and turned on your favorite radio station.

You let him go.

It wasnt easy. There were epoches when it hurt even worse you craved good-for-nothing more than to really sulk in your desolation, wrap the blankets tightly around you and call in sick to work with the debilitating spasm of a broken heart.

You had shreds of said he hoped that he would return, and the latter are crushed. You had daytimes whatever it is you wondered whether you could actually make it slog, and the latter are defeated. As age legislated, you moved on. You procured new people, a brand-new determination, a brand-new feel of hope and self-love.

And then, just as abruptly as you obtained yourself over him, you observed him trying to come back .

This was subtle at first, a few verse now there are still, maybe a voicemail or like of an old-time photo that sent your mind rotating into overdrive. Here was the man “youve lost”, “the mens” who keep walking, leaving your soul a mess on the flooring, “the mens” who announced goodbye, giving you no choice other than to let go because “youve already” secreted his hold.

But here he was, coming back.

Before you knew what was happening, he was asking what your Friday night schedules were. He was bumping into you at the regional disallow. He was doubting about your love life, your work, their own families. He was making a small seat in their own lives, wedging his nature through your stubbornness and impartiality to hopefully make a home.

And then, he was craving you back.

Not precisely the causal, I miss you, or I havent investigated you in eternally, but the I crave you in my life. Im sorry. I need you. that drew the carpet right from under you.

How dare he walk back into their own lives as if nothing had changed, as if there hadnt been months and times since youd last-place appreciated him, as if everything could, and would, fall back to how it used to be.

You were angry, confounded, frustrated and elated. You were hoping, unexpectedly, at future prospects of getting back together. And then you two are disappointed in yourself for even considering him.

This is no hard decision , no easy sit to be when you eventually let go of someone you know you needed to, and find them back in your life as if nothing changed.

But sweetened girlfriend, satisfy remember thisthere attains a era when cherish grows up, stands up, and knows what it craves. There approaches a occasion when you dont have to question someones objectives or longings because they are clear, because they are present, because such person or persons never left .

You may have “lets get going” of him, you may be in love with him still, but you need to ask yourself this:

Does he love you enough to never let you go?
Did he once lose you?

Maybe hes lost his opportunity this time around. Perhaps he “shouldve known” months and years ago that you were the one he required. Maybe hes a little too late.

I know this hurts. I know this is muddling. I know theres a force on your chest too heavy to make. But you have to know what you deserve, dear. You have to know that there is love out there that never leaves. And perhaps, time perhaps, thats the person “youre supposed” pursuing.

The one you dont have to hunt because hes beside you.
Because when push comes to shove, he stays.

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and generator of the book,, available here.

Read more: http :// thoughtcatalog.com/ marisa-donnelly/ 2017/07/ sweet-girl-maybe-hes-too-late /~ ATAGEND