I’m the girl everyone leaves. The one they predict the world to before they evaporate. The one they say they beloved, they assert, their oaths like sugar fastened with poison. I’m the girl who always objective up alone.
I’m the girl who’s always a little afraid to jump in. Because what if they hurt me extremely? What if everyone who persuasion me to tear down my walls are the reasons I have to build it up again? All I do is reassemble myself merely to give myself be ruined. I’m so, so tired of giving people in only so they can walk out.
And more they try to tell me that they aren’t the same, that they aren’t like the others. That they are the ones who will stay by my line-up and mend my broken heart. I am never speedy to believe them.
” Maybe it’s my fault ,” I tell them.
” It isn’t ,” they promise with half-held tongues as they swallow me into their warmth.
But I ever see it coming before it happens; I am a master of picking up the patterns. And then they are proceeded and I am left freezing and there is no one to blamed but myself. I am tiresome from propping the luggage they leave every time they walk out the door. I still haven’t learned how to survive without carrying my misery on my sleeve.
And still, I’m the girl who loves too much. Who bleeds from her heart and soul. Who falls apart and then pulls herself together again. Who never stops loving even when all she’s known is throbbed. Who hopes, deep down, that there are people who can love you without destroying you. Who believes it to her core.
So maybe it is my fault. Maybe I was right all along. Because I am the girl everyone leaves, but I never stop believes in more.